The day someone dies, do we celebrate or ignore this day in the years to come?
It’s a tough call as these memories can be so painful.
Each year as this date approaches one can feel overwhelmed and numb.
How you want to honour and remember those close to you that have died?
Just like in life, each relationship is unique and each death anniversary will bring a mixture of emotions.
For me personally, it’s about Legacy. It’s about the time they spent in between the day that they were born and the day they died.
It’s the dash.
It’s celebrating their life and who they were to me. Those shared moments. The moments that bring a smile to my face or a tough lessons I learned.
Family dynamics are complicated even in best families and people are complex. The relationship with your mom, your dad, a grandparent, a best friend or relative had there ups and downs. From shared experiences to some really difficult times as well.
Those are the lessons, the beautiful memories, the hopes and the dreams all intertwined into what we called life now.
That tapestry of shared emotions brings you forward every day and if you want to celebrate the day they died and the day that they were born that is totally up to you.
There is no right or wrong way on how to do this perfectly.
It’s individual.
No one has the same shared experiences, the same parents/friends with the same outcomes as you.
So, as I reflect on this topic, it is personal for me as well, I choose to give honour on those days for those who are really close to me.
I take time out of my day to remember and to honour to them. I give myself space to cry or to laugh, to raise a glass or to reach out to a friend/family member.
I may go to special country road and watch the sunrise or make their favourite meal. Enjoy their favourite tv show or look at photos with my grown children.
Life isn’t perfect and your grief is not going to be perfect either but sharing their legacy helps us navigate through those tough times.
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